The Triple Bind Review
The front cover of Stephen
Hinshaw's novel, The Triple Bind, caught my eye in the library. It displays
half of a teenage girls face, with the message "Saving
Our Teenage Girl's from Today's Pressures." After reading this
headline, I instantly wanted to learn more.
The novel focuses on girls in today's
society, and explores the pressures and expectations that they deal with in
everyday life. These impossible and contradictory expectations are what Dr.Stephen Hinshaw labels as "The Triple Bind."
These include:
1. Fulfill the traditional "girl"
expectations. (Look pretty, be nice, have a boyfriend, and always put others
before yourself)
2. Succeed at "boy" goals and expectations.
(Be competitive, get straight A's, be a super athlete, and earn a well-paid
career)
3. Be 100% perfect, 100% of the time. (No escaping or
excuses, no more tomboys, hippies, punks, or goths are allowed)
The combination of these three
aspects is what makes the Triple Bind so powerful. Teenage girls are being pressured and nearly forced to fit all three of these expectations. This is an impossible task. For instance if a girl is good at her "girl" expectations, she'll get tormented for
not being competitive or athletic enough. This is also true if a girl is a super athlete. She'll most likely be told she has too much muscle or doesn't wear enough make-up to fit the girl standards. The moral of the story is that it's always a lose-lose situation. They'll never properly gain confidence in themselves if they're always told they need to do something better or differently. This is what girls are dealing with in today's society. With all of these
expectations, teenage girls feel pressure from parents, coaches,
teachers, the media, or even their very own friends. It has become a severe
problem because many girls respond to these distressed and overwhelming
feelings by gaining an increase in aggression and violence, onset of
depression, self-mutilation, eating disorders, or even thoughts of suicide.
Dr. Stephen Hinshaw describes the combination of the three aspects of the Triple Bind, and how it's a deadly force for teenage girls because of the unrealistic expectations.
I'm going to focus on the first bind, so let's take a closer look: Fulfill the traditional girl expectations.
In order to do this, girls need to fit the proper appearance, relationship, and personality traits.
Appearance
In order to be accepted as looking good, the requirements include: shopping and wardrobe maintenance, shaving and waxing, perfectly tanned skin, manicures and pedicures, hair perfectly styled, ultra thin body, and applying make-up. Of course, all of this needs to be done without showing any effort to make it seem like one was trying too hard.
Believe it or not, these so called girl traits have become less of an option and now more of a requirement. Girls are constantly comparing their looks with others, and trying to compete to be the most attractive. The media is a great source that forces this upon teenage girls. The book uses a great example of a TV show that's very popular among teenage girls: America's Next Top Model. The show was created by Tyra Banks, encouraging teenage girls to be themselves. Yet, this is what is being asked of them. "Be yourself- but not too much yourself. Be proud of who you are- but cover it up the moment someone says something offensive. Be unique- but only in the right way. You can never be too thin. So just keep trying and trying. If you're lucky you'll figure it out, and if not, you're off the program." This doesn't quite sound like they're allowed to truly be themselves. Another example is the movie Mean Girls, which came out in 2004. In order to be a part of the plastics, the popular group, they're requirements consisted of: Look hot every moment of your life, act like you're superior around social losers, be confident and comfortable in front of people no matter who they are, always socialize with people, never trip because it's so not cool, and flirt with boys and your crushes. So what message is the mass media trying to send to teenage girls?
Relationships
When it comes to relationships, teenage girls are expected to live in a culture where pleasing others is always more important than the pleasure of oneself, having a boyfriend is the center of their identity, and they need to properly fulfill the role of being a friend, girlfriend, student, player, and worker.
Girls get so caught up in trying to make everyone else happy, that they feel pressure in trying to do so. For example, in the novel it had a story about a girl named Jeannie who was dealing with a busy schedule. She took hard classes at her school, and was realizing that her nights had to consist of homework and studying in order to maintain good grades. Both her friends and her boyfriend were getting on her case about this, and calling her selfish because she was only thinking about herself and her own needs. Jeannie was trapped. She didn't know what to do because if she didn't keep up her grades, she'd get the pressure from her parents. So she continued on with spending her nights by doing her homework, and as a result, her boyfriend broke up with her and her friends got mad at her. Jeannie felt empty and had no one to run to. They both continued to call her names such as selfish and immature because she didn't fulfill their needs. This resulted in Jeannie suffering from severe depression. No matter what, Jeannie was aware that she'd have to let someone down. This situation is common to many girls in today's society. They're being forced to choose between these roles, due to the high demands and expectations.
Personality
In order to fit the personality requirements of a traditional girl, they have to be very outgoing, confident, and easy-going. But the truth is, the mass media somehow transforms these traits into a problem that is seen among very young teenage girls: Oversexualization.
For instance, the novel uses Bratz Dolls, a popular doll among young girls, as an example of bringing on this behavior. These dolls are known to be glamorous, fashionable, and popular. Manufacturers produce these dolls to girl's ages 8 to 12 year old, wearing black leather miniskirts, feather boas, and thigh-high boots. "Passion for Fashion" is the theme of their lives. Due to the major popularity in these dolls, there was also a movie that was premiered in 2007, which displayed four of the dolls everyday lives. They were all good at their own thing, for instance sports, journalism, or cheerleading. The negative message that the movie portrays though, is that talent come effortlessly, shopping will cure any bad mood, and being flirty and outgoing with boys is a must. This wouldn't be so bad if the audience watching this movie was at least 18 years or older, but it only seems to attract the very young girls, mostly because they're the ones who play with these dolls.
Both the movies and dolls send off a negative message to girls at a very young age. They're being exposed to a fantasy life and they view these dolls as role models. They believe that if they act and dress like them, they'll be well-liked among everyone and live a glamorous life.
Reality
Now imagine meeting these girl requirements every single day. That's already asking for too much, but they're also being expected to excel in sports, get straight A's, be in extracurricular activities, and do these things 100% perfect, 100% of the time. Impossible.
The Triple Bind was really an eye-opener, even as a girl, to realize what problems teenage girls are facing. I feel that this novel would be best for girl's parents to read, in order for them to understand the struggles that their daughters may be facing. I would also suggest girls in today's society to read this novel because it gives examples of very realistic and everyday life situations, shocking statistics, negative messages by media, and also a suggested way to deal with these pressures. If any girls that read this are encountering and of these thoughts or problems, it will let them know that they're not alone, and there are people who do care.
"At least one-fourth of all U.S teenage girls are suffering from self-mutilation, eating disorders, significant depression, or even thoughts of suicide."
I'm going to focus on the first bind, so let's take a closer look: Fulfill the traditional girl expectations.
In order to do this, girls need to fit the proper appearance, relationship, and personality traits.
Appearance
In order to be accepted as looking good, the requirements include: shopping and wardrobe maintenance, shaving and waxing, perfectly tanned skin, manicures and pedicures, hair perfectly styled, ultra thin body, and applying make-up. Of course, all of this needs to be done without showing any effort to make it seem like one was trying too hard.
Believe it or not, these so called girl traits have become less of an option and now more of a requirement. Girls are constantly comparing their looks with others, and trying to compete to be the most attractive. The media is a great source that forces this upon teenage girls. The book uses a great example of a TV show that's very popular among teenage girls: America's Next Top Model. The show was created by Tyra Banks, encouraging teenage girls to be themselves. Yet, this is what is being asked of them. "Be yourself- but not too much yourself. Be proud of who you are- but cover it up the moment someone says something offensive. Be unique- but only in the right way. You can never be too thin. So just keep trying and trying. If you're lucky you'll figure it out, and if not, you're off the program." This doesn't quite sound like they're allowed to truly be themselves. Another example is the movie Mean Girls, which came out in 2004. In order to be a part of the plastics, the popular group, they're requirements consisted of: Look hot every moment of your life, act like you're superior around social losers, be confident and comfortable in front of people no matter who they are, always socialize with people, never trip because it's so not cool, and flirt with boys and your crushes. So what message is the mass media trying to send to teenage girls?
Relationships
When it comes to relationships, teenage girls are expected to live in a culture where pleasing others is always more important than the pleasure of oneself, having a boyfriend is the center of their identity, and they need to properly fulfill the role of being a friend, girlfriend, student, player, and worker.
Girls get so caught up in trying to make everyone else happy, that they feel pressure in trying to do so. For example, in the novel it had a story about a girl named Jeannie who was dealing with a busy schedule. She took hard classes at her school, and was realizing that her nights had to consist of homework and studying in order to maintain good grades. Both her friends and her boyfriend were getting on her case about this, and calling her selfish because she was only thinking about herself and her own needs. Jeannie was trapped. She didn't know what to do because if she didn't keep up her grades, she'd get the pressure from her parents. So she continued on with spending her nights by doing her homework, and as a result, her boyfriend broke up with her and her friends got mad at her. Jeannie felt empty and had no one to run to. They both continued to call her names such as selfish and immature because she didn't fulfill their needs. This resulted in Jeannie suffering from severe depression. No matter what, Jeannie was aware that she'd have to let someone down. This situation is common to many girls in today's society. They're being forced to choose between these roles, due to the high demands and expectations.
Personality
In order to fit the personality requirements of a traditional girl, they have to be very outgoing, confident, and easy-going. But the truth is, the mass media somehow transforms these traits into a problem that is seen among very young teenage girls: Oversexualization.
For instance, the novel uses Bratz Dolls, a popular doll among young girls, as an example of bringing on this behavior. These dolls are known to be glamorous, fashionable, and popular. Manufacturers produce these dolls to girl's ages 8 to 12 year old, wearing black leather miniskirts, feather boas, and thigh-high boots. "Passion for Fashion" is the theme of their lives. Due to the major popularity in these dolls, there was also a movie that was premiered in 2007, which displayed four of the dolls everyday lives. They were all good at their own thing, for instance sports, journalism, or cheerleading. The negative message that the movie portrays though, is that talent come effortlessly, shopping will cure any bad mood, and being flirty and outgoing with boys is a must. This wouldn't be so bad if the audience watching this movie was at least 18 years or older, but it only seems to attract the very young girls, mostly because they're the ones who play with these dolls.
Both the movies and dolls send off a negative message to girls at a very young age. They're being exposed to a fantasy life and they view these dolls as role models. They believe that if they act and dress like them, they'll be well-liked among everyone and live a glamorous life.
Reality
Now imagine meeting these girl requirements every single day. That's already asking for too much, but they're also being expected to excel in sports, get straight A's, be in extracurricular activities, and do these things 100% perfect, 100% of the time. Impossible.
The Triple Bind was really an eye-opener, even as a girl, to realize what problems teenage girls are facing. I feel that this novel would be best for girl's parents to read, in order for them to understand the struggles that their daughters may be facing. I would also suggest girls in today's society to read this novel because it gives examples of very realistic and everyday life situations, shocking statistics, negative messages by media, and also a suggested way to deal with these pressures. If any girls that read this are encountering and of these thoughts or problems, it will let them know that they're not alone, and there are people who do care.
"At least one-fourth of all U.S teenage girls are suffering from self-mutilation, eating disorders, significant depression, or even thoughts of suicide."
